Ashley Akinns 6/21/84 – 4/29/07
She lived a life of fun and laughter and loved God in the end.

I will never forget the first time I held Ashley’s journal in my hands. Though I already had a copy that had been transcribed by her brother, Jacob, actually holding her written life’s story, captured in an everyday composition book, was something else altogether…it felt like a sacred trust.

The transcript of the journal first came from Ashley’s dad after many conversations by e-mail over months of time. This particular e-mail read in part, “So you always say you wish you had known my daughter. Well, this will help you know a little bit more about my Princess .” So I downloaded the file and quickly realized I was reading her own words, personal snapshots of her journey beginning in the fall of 2006 and continuing until the the final entry on April 28, 2007. As I read the pages I couldn’t help but weep with sadness and joy as I watched in detail as her heart began to beat with the love of God.

But holding the journal revealed so much more about her, her personality beaming through the ALL CAPS wording, multiple exclamation points, unwavering energy, humor and varied ink colors. But nothing prepared me for what I felt when I saw what followed her last recorded words.  Opposite the last line of Saturday’s entry was nothing but an empty page, an inescapable affirmation that her life on earth had come to an end.

Innocently, the last words she penned after spending a weekend at home with her family were, Tomorrow I am driving back to Gainesville after church and sushi in Riverside.  We are going to Sushi Cafe-

What is interesting to me is that there is no period at the end of that sentence…just a squiggly line that seems to say “To be continued” more than “The End.”   The next day, a one-car collision took Ashley from those she loved.  But it did not dim God’s plans for her life.  No way.  Ashley found life in the One who overwhelmed the grave.

So, on this day that marks her death, I’d like to share her entry from February 8, written seventeen days after she encountered the grace of God in a personal and life-altering way.

Feb 8th ‘07

I went to a Bible Study with Christa tonight and that was actually kind of fun and cool.  Everyone was like hey Ashley and did not make me feel like all awkward and stuff.  It was like I belonged there.  They sang some songs which I did not know and everyone else did but it was cool.  My favorite I came home and looked up the lyrics, here they are cause I love them.  I don’t know why but I started crying when they were singing it and I just wanted to lift my hands like they did…I did not but I talked to Christa about it afterwards.  She said it was just a way of worshipping God.  Jesus did take me just like he found me, with all my failures and screw-ups.  He loved me just like I am.  He has shown me so much compassion and mercy and he LOVES me. That just blows me away, ya know…

[change to red ink]

Everyone needs compassion
A love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A Kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

My Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We’re singing for the glory of the risen King…Jesus

_____________

All I can say is wow.

Ashley, I cannot fathom the loss your family and friends carry and I know they miss you with everything within them. Yet, I can say with certainty that those lyrics you loved so much are coming true in your life today.  Your Savior is shining amazingly through you!

Your friend, Louie

So if you’ve been on this crazy journey with us this week, maybe there was some reason for the date mix-up after all. As fate would have it, this arrived in our inbox right after last night’s post.

Louie,

A High School Senior in our community was tragically killed in a car accident this week. Several of the kids in my student ministry were friends with him. It has been tough for the community, especially his friends and family. I was trying to think of what to speak on last night, and what came to mind was Hope. Then I remembered I had a DVD of Hope – When Life Hurts Most. So, instead of me doing the talk – I let you.

7 students trusted Christ as Savior and another 10 or so recommitted their life to Christ.

Kids received Hope.

Just thought you might like to know.

B.R.
Tennessee

As we all know, this has nothing to do with a DVD, and everything to do with a cross that is the only thing on earth that makes sense when the bottom falls out on life. And, once again, Ashley and her family are touching the world.

B.R., Hope it’s OK to post your message. We are praying for all in your community who’s hearts are breaking with this loss, and for those who through the pain have reached out for God.

Louie Giglio
April 23

OK, so I have officially gone crazy!  That’s what a week like this one will do to you…a week where each day greets a new city and focus.

So all this week on the 268Blog we have been celebrating an extraordinary story of rescue as we approach the two-year anniversary of Ashley’s death.  For us, these posts are simply a way to remember…not only Ashley, but the countless others who have also faced the ache of loss as those they loved ended their journeys here on earth.  Some seemed to say goodbye at the proper time, while others never really had the chance to say anything at all.

Yet, I have found that there are often smiles, even in death, and laughter is not uncommon at a service to honor those who have gone.  Such is the case today (and all week long) as I actually have been thinking it was the week of April 29th… even though everything I see everyday tells me otherwise.  So here I’ve been in my own little April 29 world, only to be informed after my initial post today that it is actually the 22nd!  Hmmm. I’ll say it.  I am an idiot.  Though I didn’t really know her, I have a feeling Ashley would be rolling on the floor.

I apologize to all for living in a clueless state and for any confusion my mix-up may have caused.  We will continue to remember Ashley’s life this week, and I will re-post today’s entry when it is actually April 29!

From the blur that sometimes is my life…

LG

It’s pretty amazing when you think about it…somewhere in the world today, someone will meet Ashley.  Thanks to the generosity of her family, her story is being told in dorm rooms, class rooms, Bible study groups, church services and who knows where else right this very minute.  It’s not unusual for us to hear stories like this one, which came to me on Facebook last week.   It’s a little long and involved, but stay with it and remember that nothing [not even death] can stop God from using our lives to make a massive and lasting difference in this world…that is, if that’s what we want Him to do.  Ashley is very much alive today, both in heaven with the God she loved and in the hearts of people around the globe.

_________________

Hi. I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a story. My name is Vanessa and I am a graduate student at Georgia College and State University. I first got connected with Passion and your team by coming to 722. At that time I was in school at a junior college and once a month the college minister at our church took us up to 722. Believe it or not my first experience was quite unique as the service was completely silent from beginning to end and we even had the Lord’s Supper. The whole time I thought wow incredible, how can someone pull this off? My second thought was does this happen often…Ha. Well I got numerous chances to come back.
In 2006 and 2007 I attended the Passion Conferences and they were incredible, but I have to say that I only got what I put into them. Have you ever just been a body in a place…yeah you fit, look right, but your heart just is not there. That was me until I got to my senior year of college and that is when I really found myself and who I am in Christ. It has been a battle day in and day out as I begin to revert back to old habits but it does not have to be for I am free through Christ. You see I was saved when I was 17, and yet I understood what that meant in some ways but I did not completely understand what that meant for God.
The past week has been amazing….you know God really wants you to get something if he brings it to your attention over and over again. I am a part of a small all girls bible study and we have an incredible teacher. On some nights, Molly (our teacher), passes out verses for each of us to read that supplement our study.  Well, I, being late that night due to other circumstances, did not get a verse so when we were going through the study Molly realized that she neglected to pass out a verse on a card so because I did not have a card I volunteered to read the verse…. I read 2 Corinthians 5:21 “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Immediately I began to sing in my head the song Jesus Messiah, which is an incredible message. I love it when I can connect music to a piece of scripture and Chris Tomlin’s music is so incredible that I find that connection quite often.
The story does not end here though. The next day was Good Friday, and two friends and I were going to the Good Friday service at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater and I totally had no clue what God had in store. The crazy weather, the intense darkness did not keep people away nor did it cancel the event as you already know…Haha. I believe that the delay just added to the excitement of the event. Well what do you know, when you got up to speak Friday you covered that same verse 2 Corinthians. 5:21 and the verses before it and I was floored and probably my jaw was dropping at this point….God really must have wanted me to get it. I have to say that the service was probably the best I have been to just because in comparison to Passion Conf. I have been to, my heart was finally in the right place. I would usually leave a venue like this and be on a high for a few days and then go back to something else, but that is not the case here.
If those two instances were not enough I have more. Tuesday I was listening to the song “Mighty to Save” and I tell you it just gives me chills. I love the part that says “Shine your light and let the whole world see, we’re singing for the glory of the risen King.” That is us, that is what we are called to do and when you realize what God has done through Christ it is not a matter of this is my duty, but instead it becomes your desire. I know this is getting long, but I am coming to my last part of the story. Last night, Wednesday April 15. I go to a fairly small church in Milledgeville where I go to school, but they have an incredible college ministry. We usually do small group bible study sessions but not this night. You see when I walked in there was a screen and on that screen it said Louie Giglio so I thought cool we are going to get to watch you speak. At this point you may be able to guess….yes the same verses and you started with 2 Corinthians 5:21 and then you went back and read verses 13-21. I had chills, but not only that you read from the journal of Ashley, the student whose short life as a believer is impacting lives all over.

At Good Friday you mentioned her name, but you did not tell her whole story and when I saw the video Wednesday, it was like an intricate puzzle that God had so thoughtfully pieced together. It hit me then and there. It does not matter what I do or where I go on this earth if I let Christ live fully through me amazing things can happen. I guess that is something I needed to hear one, two, even three times over. I have looked at the cross and been moved by it and what it means for me, but what about for others. Everyone has the same opportunity but it takes others, like myself, to plant those seeds. I look at Ashley’s roommate and think how her small yet powerful actions led to something incredible. As I am about to graduate from grad school in less than a month I am faced with the pressures of finding a job and determining what I want to do. I just wanted to share this with you and I am so thankful that God has created this ministry that you lead and it is so cool how he has used you. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

______________

Thank you Mike, Anna, Jeff and Jacob for allowing a college group in middle Georgia [and people throughout the world] to hear such an authentic and beautiful journey to faith.  Our gratitude, love and prayers surround you today!

Louie

If you’ve spent much time around the Passion Movement the past two years you’ve most likely had a chance to meet Ashley, a vibrant and smart student at the University of Florida who experienced the most unlikely collision of friendship and grace, and as a result, has been a light to people around the globe.

Wednesday [April 29] is the two year anniversary of the accident that took Ashley home to be with God, a painful and difficult ending to a life that in many ways was just beginning to bloom. But as time has so powerfully shown, April 29 was not the end of Ashley’s journey here on earth.  Each day God continues to unfold her story and amplify her influence beyond anything she probably ever imagined.

That doesn’t mean the pain of her death is any less crushing for those who knew and loved her most, only that countless others [me included] have now been fortunate enough to have been touched by her smile.

All this week the 268Blog will be dedicated to the memory of this remarkable young woman as we champion the grace that caused real life to begin.  Below, we begin with my original post after I received news of her death from Ashley’s mom.

More to come throughout the week…
LG

________________________

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Ashley’s Home

You guys remember Ashley, the Florida senior who sent what might be the coolest e-mail of all time. Just after Passion 07 we received this from her:

Hi, I feel kinda weird writing this email. And i doubt if it ever gets to Mr Louie Giglio. I am a Senior at The University of Florida. I got a new roommate this semester and she is a Christian and I have never really been into the whole Christian thing because every pastor or speaker that I have ever listened to didn’t speak in a language I could understand. I have believed in God and Jesus, but never really understood it because the preachers at the church that I have always been forced to go to every Sunday of my life. They speak all high and mighty and I never really felt connected, and I felt like God was only for the perfect people.
Well my roommate went to this Passion Conference over winter break. And she came back and moved into my apt and she was real and genuine about all her Christian stuff, like I have never seen before in a person. She said that God changed her at this conference, so i was like what are you talking about. And she told me. She told me about how God was cool, and how God really wanted a deeper relationship with her, and she wanted to really love God the way he loved her, so of course I was like well huh? She then said you need to listen to Louie talk about God, so I asked who Louie was, and she put on the Indescribable talk, and then we watched the Passport talk. And in the Passport talk you said that Christians do not have to just hope for the best at the end, that they do not have to do enough good stuff. You explained how to get to heaven in a simple way, in a way that I have never heard before. I actually got it, I got it that it is not about being so good, cause I am not a good person. I have screwed up a lot. But then you said grace, and talked about how is was different than other religions. Because God is a loving and a kind God who wants to forgive me. My roommate then explained that he wants to forgive me.
Now for one of the reasons I am thanking you. One, I am now a Christian. And two, my roommate said that she had never really cared about telling others about how much God loved her before she went to this conference. So though I am not sure who will ever read this. Please tell Louie thanks from me, for talking about Christ in a way that a college kid can understand. I know that Jesus has changed my life and as I get ready to graduate college in May, I am gonna be a different person. I am sorry this is kinda rambling but I just had to tell you that I now know about the Grace of God, and I have life for the first time in my 22 years

Ashley

I will never forget the day her message came. And I’m not going to forget last Friday. Waking early for the last day of Thirsty, I happened to see this on my Blackberry and opened it.

Dear Mr. Giglio,
It is with a heavy heart that I send you this email. My daughter is Ashley, she wrote you an email that went on your blog and podcast Well, today May 3rd at 4pm we buried Ashley. She was killed in a car accident late on Sunday night. She lost control of her car and hit a light pole. She was the only car involved and had serious internal bleeding. She died in the arms of my husband at the hospital from unstoppable internal bleeding. But I have hope of seeing my daughter again. I have this hope because after years of praying for her, and watching her live a lifestyle in college that is known as the typical college experience. The last semester of her college career I saw a woman, not a college girl that I have never been more proud to call my daughter. I can point the thanks to you and Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Matt Redman, and everyone else involved in your Passion Conferences. Ashley fell in love with our Savior over the last 5 months of her life. She was so excited about graduation this week and moving to California to work her first real job. She had a life ahead of her. I miss my beautiful princess more than anything in this world.

But I just felt like you should know that she listened to as many of your talks as she could get her hands on and read your book I am not but I know I am and she was so excited about God and her new found faith. Words alone can not thank you enough. I may never meet you here on earth, but I know that someday I will be able to meet you and give you a hug in heaven, but only after Ash does. Thank you so much for praying for my girl, and your support of her as she was starting her new life. Also thanks for being a man of God who has a passion, and love for college students.

Your vision to share the gospel and getting college students to do the same made all the difference at a funeral today. Instead of being sad and scared for her. We were able to sing praise and worship songs today. Though there will be tears and I am so very heartbroken and crying as I type this, it is only because I will not hold her for so many years. And I will miss her for the rest of my life. I know I have said thank you a lot in this email, but because of you and Christa (Ashley’s roommate) and people at the Bible Study that she was going to she was happier than I have seen her in a very long time. In the email she originally sent you, it said she had life for the first time in her 22 years, and please know she meant every word of that. She lived the last few months serving and loving and learning more about Christ. She will now spend eternity in heaven with Him so one more time thanks. I know this was long and I debated for the last 4 days as to whether or not to write you. I know you are a very busy man, but I also figured you would want to know.
Ashley’s Mom
Anna

By the third line tears were streaming down my face, blurring the words, but not the sudden reality of it all. I had just received an e-mail from Ashley a few days before saying how excited she was to finally be through with college and headed to a “real job” in the Bay Area of California. And now she was gone.

I was crushed, but I found myself pumping my fist in the air, confident that Jesus Christ overwhelmed death and the grave. And just in the nick of time, He reached through the confusion and hopelessness and brought Ashley back to life again. Her mom was kind enough to allow me to share her e-mail and sent a photo of Ashley so we could all put a face with the name that has brought much rejoicing throughout the Passion world in recent months. Anna, please know that you and your family will be in our hearts and prayers as you begin the process of living without the daughter you so deeply love. You will see her again. And with our prayers we are praising God for matchless mercy…mercy that saved the day and carried Ashley safely home.

Louie

Thanks to clearing weather (just in the nick of time) and an amazing job by our Volunteer Team, Good Friday at Verizon was a night I will never forget.  I think that’s probably the case for most people there. For more pics visit passioncitychurch blog.

LG

The weather update for Atlanta says the severity of the storms is expected between 6:00pm and 8:00PM tonight. As a result our current plan is to delay the start of Good Friday at Verizon until 9:00PM EST.

Gates will open at 8:30PM.

As always, your safety is most important to us, so please use your best judgment as to whether you attend.

Hope to see you there!

Though we are equipped for rain, the weather forecast for Atlanta calls for strong storms late this afternoon and evening. As a result, we will evaluate the situation further and make a final decision on cancelling or postponing the event at 2 PM EST today.

Please check the website at 2 PM for updates and do not call our office as our team is at Verizon preparing for the event.

Thanks for your patience.

It was very cool to see registrations pouring in from all over the place as our first registration deadline for Passion Twenty Ten passed on April 1. As of today we are running ahead of our registration pace for Passion 07 as people from coast to coast are joining the wave of students headed to Atlanta. Exciting!

We are happy to announce that 40 people will be enjoying fantastic free accommodations on us for the duration of Passion Twenty Ten after being randomly selected from those registering by the April 1 deadline.

Those selected are:
Justin, FBC Pearl City, bringing a group from Hawaii including students from the University of Hawaii, Hawaii Pacific University and Leeward Community College. Surf’s up!

Sid, FUMC Searcy, Arkansas, representing the University of Arkansas, Arkansas State University and Southern Nazarene University (Go Crimson Storm!).

Jason from First Baptist Church of Du Quoin, Illinois with students from Southern Illinois [there are those Salukis again!] and John A. Logan College.

Congrats to all! We can’t wait to see you in Atlanta.

Thanks to everyone who has already registered and is helping get the word out about Passion Twenty Ten. Remember, any group registering 20+ people from now till December 1 will get a free registration.

It’s now just nine months away!
LG

We’re just days away from Good Friday at Verizon, the first city-wide celebration hosted by Passion City Church [PCC] and sixstepsrecords.  The response has been pretty overwhelming and we are excited about the chance to pause and take in the wonder of the Cross.  Honestly, there is no better news, no more stunning intervention, no more staggering rescue than the precious one of God lifted up for all our wrong… Jesus raised to die to bring us life that never ends.

We’ll be meeting rain or shine.  About 7000 seats at Verizon are covered, with the rest on the lawn.  No matter what the weather, factor in a little extra time, arrive early and prepare your heart.  Good Friday is General Admission seating and as of this post, tickets are still available at GoodFridayatVerizon.com.

We’ll start with quiet reflection as we think about Jesus and all He has done.  Yet the night will end with full-on celebration because Friday was not an ending, but an amazing beginning that we are still trying to fully comprehend.

Thanks for partnering with us to make this Good Friday gathering available to the city.  While PCC is involved in the event, we won’t be talking about the church on Friday night.  This night is about His story in the city and in history.

For those tracking with PCC, our next gathering is Sunday night, May 10 at Cobb Galleria.  This will be our last gathering before the fall, so don’t miss it.  Details will be online at passioncitychurch.com the day after Good Friday, so check back then and RSVP.

For His Fame,

Louie